Dear *Famous Formula Brand*

Coupons are like Mommy-Crack in my house and you, my friend, are my dealer. Like any good pusher you got me hooked and then took away “the goods” and now I’m jonesing for more.

You see, about 8 months ago {before Miss Sassy Pants made her debut} I received a sample in the mail – a big one. I knew I wouldn’t need it for awhile but I held onto it. Next I got a fancy-schmancy “gold card” membership which as far as I can tell just entitles me to a card that says I’m a gold member {all my friends are impressed – no really!}. Then it seemed like every day fabulous coupons would arrive in my mailbox for $5 off, $10 off, and this one time a freebie coupon for a big container { that’s like $21 y’all}.

I didn’t need them yet but I hoarded them anyway knowing that someday I would. Well, about a month ago that day came and boy do those coupons go fast! Now my supply is out and you’ve cut me off. This.is.not.cool. Momma needs more coupons! Interesting that as soon as I started using them, they stopped arriving. Um HELLO – obviously I need/want them if I’m using ‘em! So how ‘bout we get the coupon train rolling again.

And maybe you can tell our friends over at my preferred diaper brand that sending a mailer with a 50 cent coupon for the big box of diapers with a $1 off coupon for trash bags makes me stabby. I can assure you I use a crap-load {HA} more diapers than I do trash bags!